15 de diciembre de 2012

Just updating with nothing

Time is going really fast...I don't want December to finish, I don't want to graduate and look for a job. Not because I don't want to grow up and become independent...but because I'm fucking scared u_u

Today I will go out with some friends to see the celebration in my hometown. On Dec, 12th is the Virgen de Guadalupe Day, so my hometown has held a party the whole month. There's food, music, contest, fireworks and more things. Is kind of fun, love to sleep with the music as background at night.

As I finished DN manga, I'm reading Evangelion. I watched the anime when I was in Highschool. I remember I used to rent the episodes on VHS. LOL. Really old times. 3 VHS tapes per week including the movies. Just to think they released new Ovas...¬¬ I want to watch them, but Evangelion 3.0 will wait until it will be somewhere online.
I have always love Sadamoto's style, specially the way he draws anatomy. Very sexy bodies haha. It scares me how much I relate with Shinji's feelings and how he sees life. A really pathetic way to live. At least he has an Eva to pilot....and I don't :( hahahaha...

Stupid entry is stupid. 

Death note -my- fanarts

Hi!
there's nothing new to write about, I just finished the Light fanart I was doing last time...
As I mentioned, I was reading Death note manga again, and i enjoyed it just like the first time. Geez, I'm so attracted to Light LOL but not in the way of "I'm love with this fictional character". More like the way this character is, is the profile I like about a person...someone who plans everything, and is so confident. I want to be with someone confident, and reliable...of course Light is not someone you will rely on, because he uses you and then kill you haha. Maybe that's why I like this character more than L. But rn, I like Near a lot. It's funny that Near and Mello end up being a real pain in the ass than L was...

BUT, my #1 favorite character from DN are the reapers. They are so fucking cool (Rem) and cute (Ryuk and Shidou/ Sidoh) second is Kira and then Light (I divide him in two because he is so different when he gave up the DN and when he go it again)

Anyway...remembering two of my favorites fanarts I did then

the first one was in memory of Yagami's death (;_;) and the second for a fanart contest here in my country, I won 3rd place u_u and never got it back...kind of regret it.

Didn't came out as I wanted but well, I really missed drawing him.

30 de noviembre de 2012

getting back to death note again...

Wow...I have been so absent that it's not even funny...well, I have been struggling with depression again, and I don't want to puke words full of bullshits.
This last weeks had a lot of drama and misunderstandings. I'm so mad at a friend rn, well, If I can still call her my friend...tbh I don't mind losing someone like her, she is so fake I don't even give a shit...what made me mad is because she caused troubles between another friend -who I really love and care about- and me. But I guess everything is going well for now.

also, I found out about "Death Note/Another Note: The Los Angeles BB murder cases"...Death Note is the manga that changed my life...what kind of fan I am if I didn't know about this novel!!! I decided to re-read DN manga before reading this novel. Lots of memories come back to me! I enjoyed drawing DN fanarts a lot then, don't know why i stopped...

I have been learning some Kpop choreographies LOL I suck at dancing but it's fun...My body hurts so much right now that I don't want to try it for now...I really want to learn those for reasons...oh yeah, I'm on vacations! Last month I had the last class left to finish the career...then there's only one seminary left and then official graduation (*`O´*) I can't believe I did it, BUT.....this doesn't make me happy at all...


Cannot believe I forgot How much I enjoyed drawing this dude, is Raito btw, hahaha this looks pretty lame, like a ID picture...planning on doing something "interesting" with this portrait...

16 de noviembre de 2012

Doujinshi and Kuroshitsuji ch 75

November is going really fast D:
and I haven't been able to draw anything..besides some porn LOL...
Last night i downloaded Shina Himetsuka's new DJ "Halloween Night" (devil-castle.livejournal)
Both arts are pretty lovely! 

But I must say that....I really missed to see some bow chicka wow wow between Ciel and Sebastian. this DJ was pretty confusing hahaha


I'm Downloading Nectar by Pink no Konekoヽ(;▽;)ノ

OH right! yesterday I read Kuroshitsuji Ch 75


**SPOILER**

and, honestly, I'm not impressed by it, the only thing that got me () was to find out that the red house prefect was family with the Viscount [I don't remember their names tbh] a lot of people suspected it from the start but i got surprised...besides was nice to know a little bit more about daddy Vincent (ી(΄◞ิ౪◟ิ‵)ʃ)♥ of course, I found kind of cliche that our favorite mothafucka's predecessor was a legend inside the school *coughJamesPotteryousaycough* Still suspect of Agares. Maybe the only thing i love was when aunt Frances got Sebastian. Love how that woman can make a demon scared of her ..

I thought Sebastian would choose violet house as 1st opponent...but I guess they will defeat the weakest first...I want to see them playing against green house....maybe Ciel will become the second "blue miracle" >_>;; 

3 de noviembre de 2012

recordando mi verdadero amor: FMA

Hace 5 años comenze a leer uno de los mangas que han marcado mi vida y que es en mi humilde opinión, el mejor de todos los que he leido y que existen tambien. Recuerdo que el titulo de Fullmetal Alchemist comenzo a rebotar en mi cabeza cuando tenía 16 años, sabía que existía un anime con ese nombre, pero nunca me había interesado hasta que encontre a un circulo de doujinshis llamado IDEA. Ellas hacen los doujinshis mas tristes que he leido en mi vida, pero creo que la base de esas historias tan bien hechas, es de por si la historia base que es la de FMA. Comenze a amar a Edward y a Al, aunque no supiera realmente quienes eran, solamente sabía que eran dos hermanos alquimistas que tenía una su situación con un tal Roy. hahaha
Recuerdo que al buscar por primera vez sobre este manga, la diferencia que existe entre el estilo de dibujo de Seina Rin (idea) y Hiromu Arakawa es enorme...Si algo tienen estos doujinshis, es que el arte te atrapa, la verdad es que muchos doujinshis de Fullmetal son una maravilla, esos quizas fueron los primeros DJ que encontre cuando comenze con esto y a partir de ellos es que prefiero mil veces leer DJ a Fanfics...

Al inicio no me gusto nada el estilo de Arakawa (En esa época era full fan de Kaori Yuki -Angel Santuary y Count Cain) y estaba a costumbrada a un estilo más estilizado, y obviamente de estar viendo a un Edward con las proporsiones de Blue flame, Sinful Contact, etc, el Edward original me causaba cierta molestia, pero poco a poco fuí aceptandolo. Creo que la historia es demasiado compleja como para saturarla con un dibujo demasiado pesado por asi decirlo. Y honestamente, comenzar a leer ese manga fue la mejor decision que pude hacer en esa epoca. 

La habia dejado resagada durante mucho tiempo, y finalmente me decidi a terminar de leerlo y es increible que de principio a fin, este manga es una joya. En FMA no existen los argumentos incoherentes. 

Estará de más recomendarlo, pues ya es casi que el manga "tata" de los shounen. Y es maravilloso y hasta gracioso, que todo ese tiempo pense que Hiromu Arakawa era hombre, incluso justifique su estilo de dibujo a una mano masculina, pero me vine a dar en la cara cuando descubri que era mujer. Lo cual hace que ame aun más todo referente a Fullmetal. 

Fullmetal se situa en un mundo industrializado, steampunk, y noto que esta caracteristica se ve mucho en los primeros capitulos del manga, pero creo que poco a poco deja esto y los ambientes pasan nada más a ser un mundo industrializado. Una Alemania antigua. Sin la saturacion del steampunk. Eso es solo una observación que he notado. 
Tenía muchas cosas que escribir sobre este manga, pero lo he olvidado....OTL Solo se que no hay capitulo en FMA donde no me pegue una chillada incontrolable, desde la muerte de Nina, Hughes, la incondicionalidad de Riza con Roy con su "Don't go where I can't follow" bubububub T^T, la ceguera de Roy, la batalla final y la muerte de Hohenheim.....por mencionar algunas...

Y si, llore incluso con este panel, hahahahah 
ver a los 3 finalmente uniendo fuerzas es demasiado para mi..
Las escenas tristes en fullmetal hacen llorar realmente
las escenas graciosas hacen reir realmente
y esto no lo logra cualquier autor 

FMA es quizas el unico manga al que no le perdono una version anime...no puedo! la historia es demasiado perfecta como para cambiarla, muy diferente al caso de Kuroshitsuji, por ejemplo, el manga tiene tanto vacio argumental que el anime ha venido a aclarar algunas cosas en incluso a hacerlo mucho más interesante ( en el caso de la temporada 2). FMA no necesita esos rellenos de mas, y me molesta muchisimo el minimo cambio que hagan con la historia.... El primer anime nunca lo ví, y nunca lo vere, no solo la historia es diferente. He visto algunos episodios y me parece que Ed es demasiado debil en comparación del manga. Si bien esos dos se deprimen facilmente, nunca agachan la cabeza. 

Así como le di una oportunidad al anime de Kuro, decidi hacerlo con Brotherhood...es mucho mas fiel al manga, pero no comprendo porque agregar mas cosas si siempre iban a tocar el mismo inicio...solo se que AGRADESCO que metieran al Fuhrer Bradley en lugar de ese mini envy o mini Edward (wrath) que tenia antes el anime....

En estos momentos estoy releyendo el manga y viendo el nuevo anime....aunque sigue causandome alguna molestia ver los cambios que han hecho, tratare de darle una oportunidad al menos hasta el cap 8....hahaha sino, seguire con Silver Spoon, que es otro manga por Arakawa y esta bastante bueno con lo que llevo...muy diferente a Fullmetal, aunque sigue con ese toque de humor que caracteriza su trabajo. 



27 de octubre de 2012

...

ugh! this next Wednesday is halloween! I don't why i feel excited but i'm excited...
My teeth ache came back and I don't know man! I don't want to go to the dentist again...taking those vitamins for the brain (I don't know how you call them) helped me, maybe if I star to take them again, will work. I cannot sleep because the pain wakes me up, besides I have a stupid canker sore which double the pain....

I thought I could rest until November, but i have classes since last monday...so it sucks...it's fun but boring at the same time, can't explain it well...(my English sucks right now, please forgive me)

Oh yes! Kuroshitsuji vol 15 came out today and Toboso sensei drew something for it! hahaha the blondi got really popular by crying on Sebastian lap

I said i wanted to draw something, but i don't like doing it...GODAMMIT! why?! the only thing i've drawn in 3 weeks was a sketch...
I want to play with styles, it still look like manga, but...I don't know...I wonder if i really have drawing skills...hahaha me and my complex...


15 de octubre de 2012

I'm spending my vacations pretty "well"

Hi! nothing to write about really, but i feel happy today!
tomorrow is my ex birthday, and piss me off that I couldn't make anything for her, anyway, I know she and I won't be able to go out alone...I only hope she doesn't get mad :( we are planning a dinner for her on Friday, so I also hope everything goes out as planned!

It's October, and it's mean horror movies/series the whole month! this weekend we watched season 1 and 2 of The Walking Dead. I LOVE IT SO MUCH! So i'm really waiting for 3rd season! I want to read the comic books, but I don't want to spoil the story...
Just one week until my portfolio event, I need to finish my art blog and ..that's it. SO NERVOUS! I want to draw something rn but I don't know what OTL

hahaha this is so unrelated but I love Pichiko's [https://twitter.com/8ppichiko] new twitter profile picture and bg image

her Sebastian is really something LOL

oh yes....I have a new addiction, really silly btw...
CHEFVILLE! hahahaha I remember my good old FB times, when I got obsessed by Farmville, Restaurant  City and Pet society. I don't play them anymore. I'm not a fan of FB games because all of them is about -doing everything- with your friends's help, but my ex told me about this game and decided to give it a chance.



The funny thing is that I have more stuff than my ex -who started to play before than me- I can't help to become obsessed and competitive...being playing like 2 weeks for now :) hahaha let's see how long it will take me to get bored of this.

[oh crap...we just had a little earthquake right now hahahaha....I'm so used to them but I'm waiting for a big one some of this days...u__u ]

13 de octubre de 2012

It's Halloween bitch

Hi!!!! Finaly October shows up as I always knew it: windy, with blue sky and all nice! This last years this month has been rainy ...when it supposed to be the contrary.
Besides, Toboso Sensei update her blog:
I don't like their outfits but it's such a lovely art, Ciel's face (*_^_*)!!!! and Alois!!!! (I love how Alois's clothes are full of spiderwebs motives design..too much Claude eh? ) So i am in Halloween mood rn! I just love this season, we don't celebrate here in my country, only bars and some restaurants uses it as an excuse to make promotions and parties, but it's banned in our tradition because it's "The party of the demon" -____- according to old people...

I remember my family used to celebrate it, we used costumes and decorated our home, I was pretty awesome, until I had 10 years old, my family stop doing it and that year went to the church instead...Of course I hated it, but it was the first time I watched "Nightmare before Christmas" so that's the reason I love that movie because was the last time we reunited as family on Oct 31st.

I always plan to draw something for Halloween but never do it! T^T because every time i'm on vacations i lose every will to draw anything, and it sucks, it's like the stupid artblog waits for me to finish classes to show up...that bitch!
I hope I can come with something new...atm, I have been worrying for my portfolio event, finally we have a date and location :)

7 de octubre de 2012

finally on vacation

T^T classes are......f....finished.....FINALLY!!!!! *cries cries cries sob*

I can finally relax and do nothing...well just have my portfolio event left and the last subject but that's nothing :D so I have a lot of free time now, i'm so fucking happy rn, I don't want to worry thinking about getting a job, or graduation for now...will enjoy this month!

Searching on tumblr, I found a hentai mangaka whose art is AWESOME!!!!! i'm so in love with him rn, so full of details, it reminds me to Inio sensei's style but a little bit cuter ....



the art, the eyes, the hair, the anatomy .....I can't even....*dies* I love this kind of hentai hahaha, I usually read yaoi but if hentai would be more like this i would be a serious fan 

1 de octubre de 2012

Good Bye Kuroshitsuji doujinshis

Oh yeah! I had to erase all my Doujinshis collection!!! T^T My computer was being silly and i had to clean the disk............no more Naokitty or Shina Himetsuka in my PC ..... maybe some day I will search for them again...kind of suck to think that most of the links are dead now...... not only Kuro, Asia Watanabe works, and much more titles I don't remember right now.. (;o;) thanks god all my Kingdom hearts and FMA collections are safe in a DVD -just hope the stupid cd works- 

almost done with university and my fucking teeth ache

HOLY CRAP!!!!
Just one day left before everything finish! I'm excited but anxious as hell...

There's a reason i'm fucking happy...Kuromito san favorited my drawing (`・ω・´) the one about mouse Ciel and kitty Sebastian LOL...

Oh yeah, after Wednesday, i challenge myself to start a routine, try to work out at least 1 hour. I have had some nightmares I don't want to come true, but if i keep doing all this bad habits of mine, i'm pretty sure I will regret a lot in an early future...
I haven't drawn anything and i have been suffering from a stupid tooth ache! it doesn't hurt that much when I eat, but when i speak it hurts like fucking hell...i have a fucking smirk the whole time because the pain, I'm going to the dentist this Wednesday, probably will have my wisdom tooth removed...this scares me a lot, with my luck i will have a stupid dry socket.....(TT^TT) that's for sure...I have been taking pills for the pain but they don't fucking work! so, i'm not expecting anything nice ...

well, I guess i'm going to sleep now...I'm really sorry this last entries have been really boring....-wait, when were they fun or interesting??- anyway, lot of things to think about...

23 de septiembre de 2012

weekend

W.O.W.!!!!
Yesterday which was suppose to be a shit ends up being pretty cool...
I went out with my friend to drink coffee and talk senseless shit. I had a great time with him..of course my sister dated her BF as the initial plan ¬_¬ she made a drama from nothing...after that I met with my older sister and her husband with some friends of them to dinner, Everything got even better. At the end we went to the movies and got home at 12 midnight, so ironic that I didn't want to go out at first.
So I can say I got my relieve from the stress...
Well, of course, right now i'm so late with my work..I'm going to work overnight to get most of it done...(;o;)

I promise that after this week I will start to work out and dieting...x_x I fucking need it! besides, in my msn picture I got Kuromito's picture:

Which motivates me for some reason xD.......sounds stupid, isn't it?;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

22 de septiembre de 2012

This entry is called F.R.U.S.T.R.A.T.I.O.N.

I'm so fucking sad rn...I had expectation for this day, i was waiting the whole fucking week for Saturday...I needed a moment to release all this stress, and everything turned out even more stressful ...I'm not even angry because i'm not going out with my friends...It's something else, the moment, the feelings this day would bring me...all the excitement is gone...and i'm crying like an idiot, because very deep inside of me, I hate being in bad terms with my stupid sister, but it always happen, and it's so frustrating...

I really don't want to sound like a whining bitch crying because she's not going to the movies....I don't fucking care about that..I don't fucking care about my friends right now because things are fine with them....I know tomorrow will suck, that's all, and makes me really sad, because it wasn't supposed to be like that...my sister will be mad at me, i don't want to go out anymore...seriously, it's like i'm the only one who's still affected by everything from last night...i still regret everything she said to me...maybe what's more frustrating is that I feel really stupid...it's the never ending shit in this fucking house.....and I just can't explain it without sound too superficial...

whatever...maybe after sleep I will feel a little bit more ... chilled out? less stupid? People really are not aware how damaged I am, how tired I am from this senseless fights around me...tired of trying so hard for nothing.....................oh man!!!!

WHATEVER!.....one more time...

I finished the drawing...it didn't come out as I wanted but...who cares anyway...it was for fun...(Although i'm having one of those moments....wish to give up everything, give up drawing, give up fighting, give up trying...wondering many things...)


21 de septiembre de 2012

This entry is so bipolar.....

It's Friday!!! (T_T) and I finally have my portfolio printed!!! now I just have to worry about print my business card and all my other projects, anyway, tonight I plan to relax and draw something...

The new Kuroshitsuji Mousepad is so cuteee
So yeah! I wanted to draw something inspired by this....

How are supposed to be Ciel's shoes??!!  Anyway, this is just the wip of course xD
btw, I made another Twitter account...I don't know why but meanwhile is kind of fun ...I will closed it eventually though ...that's for sure u_u 
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FUCK this! -changing topic- everytime i plan to going out with friends, they always cancel!!!! :( I was going to the movies tomorrow, but it seems we won't...and the worst part is that the annoyed is my stupid sister, because she was using my plan to go out with her boyfriend, and now she is forcing me to do something tomorrow....I don't fucking care anyway...I will stay alone tomorrow then, it's ok for me but...fuck this shit....this suck balls! I'm fucking mad right now, not because my friends but my sister....she is a total idiot...

Great, i want to cry because the anger i feel...I want to fucking kill this bitch right now, but it would be useless, this is so stupid I can't even....the thing that makes me mad is the shit she has said right now... ARGH!!!! I can't do anything to make me feel better...i'm so out of control and all this shit is so fucking stupid! 

19 de septiembre de 2012

Kuroshitsuji ch 73

And Finally Ch 73 is out...mangareader got late with the scanlations but i found it yesterday so everything is ok...haha anyway, this ch wasn't any special, but better than 72, which didn't have any plot at all...I don't know, but I don't remember feeling as empty about the plot in other Arcs as I feel with this...Circus Arc was exciting in every chapter, even the Titanic/zombie arc was full of action, but the School Arc is so lame, and slow...Ciel's revenge was the only surprise in this whole arc...wasn't it? anyone? Seriously I really need to find out what the fuck is happening, not because it's thrilling but because this is getting boring!

Anyway, won't talk about the fanservice in this chapter, because we know Toboso likes to tease us, but no people, this doesn't mean we are seeing a SebastianxCiel soon...-___- some people is getting excited because of that....The last scene -image above- is the only thing that made me giggle like an idiot...I really like to see this two teaming up...but I felt Sebastian was so.... unnecessary?  I mean, he as great as he was on Jack the Ripper arc searching all the suspects' alibi and biographies, couldn't he be more accurate on his research about Derek Arden? and his lines were a little obvious...besides, what did he felt when touching Agares?, Why didn't he tell Ciel about this? I hope this idiot-always-falling-on-his-damn-face turns out to be something! A lot of people expect him to be a demon or vampire...If he is a demon it would be awesome..I don't want this manga to ends yet, but I want Toboso to develop the story a little bit more T^T Agares is the name of a demon, so crossing fingers until next chapter!
Did anyone else feel a little weird to see Ciel with such a strong arm? Isn't he supposed to be physically weak?

Please next chapter....Don't Make Ciel's effort in vain and ends up that this Arden guy is not in the violet dorm after everyone comes out because of the fire u_u 

18 de septiembre de 2012

still working

What would I write about...nothing than i'm so fucking screw right now...two weeks left and yes! I'm not happy at all....this weekend I went to my sister's and spend the day talking, eating and remembering old cartoons ... anyway...just making a stop over here to show how cute my screen looks hahahhaahha -i'm so stupid-


Today's 18th, that means, new Kuroshitsuji chapter, I already saw all the kuro fanartists on my TL getting excited by GFantasy hahaha

14 de septiembre de 2012

updating just because

I was gonna write about this day but i get depressed when I write about my "real life" stuff, Idk, anyway, I will just say that I ate TOO MUCH today (Breakfast, ice-cream, Quiznos, Crepe, coffee and a piece of chocolate cake) and my parents have cooked a lot for dinner...but I feel so fucking sick and pig I won't have dinner....besides, I feel SO TIRED! I did nothing today besides eat -_- and walk around with a friend talking shits...I wanted to draw something tonight, but i guess i'm going bed early. Tomorrow I'm going to my sister's place so, i'm kind of excited...

I have been suffering from a stupid teeth ache since 2 or 3 weeks ago, but now it's more painful....seriously, I can't take this pain anymore....before It just hurt when I eat but know it hurts just by open my mouth....it's not cavity because dentist said so hahahahah -__________- and I can't locate the pain, it just hurt in general...
I have even think about stop eating while this shit is over...I don't enjoy food because the pain is unbearable...and maybe it will help me to lose some weight until my portfolio event....oh stupid me...

13 de septiembre de 2012

clothes*clothes

I have been thinking about my look lately, I love wear scarves but this hipster thing just came to fuck up everything...now you can use them without being called Hipster...specially in a country as hot as mine...anyway, I saved some pictures as reference of the clothes I would like to wear...










I totally love this cords, the "prohibited" symbol is for the things I wouldn't use...I prefer converse and boots and NO purses ...Is so ironic how much I love shorts and how much I hate my legs...of course I don't wear them, but I would really like to ...this depress me a lot hahaha...

[side note: ARGH! seriously, what the fuck is wrong with this guy, he insists on taking me to print my shits along him in this place I don't fucking know! I just don't want to go somewhere else, I don't know how to say "No" politely after -like- 20th times now....fuck! let me do my things alone!]

Anyway! going to work

Can we love someone we don't know?

hahahhaha awwwwwwwwwwwn! I have a fake Birthday date and already got 3 congratulations xD -the account I'm using on FB was for games and shits and I haven't changed that....I think I won't hahaha-

ains! I just found Kuromitu twitter account! and she is so awesome, I never get tired of her cosplays
besides she is really cute!!! (*_^_*)!!!! I can talk about her the entire day, and sadly no one will listen...hahaha....I was talking about fandom and fangirls with my sister today, and I guess, i'm really close to become a horrible fangirl...well, my sister said I'm not, but im sure she thinks otherwise...

anyway...I wonder if it's possible to fall in love with someone from the internet? I mean, not only like their look, because that's what we see the most and only sometimes...but love their mind, or the person they pretend to be... I have been feeling a little uneasy about someone this days...I usually say that I'm in love with x person, but only stalk their pictures...this is the first time I feel the need of know who this person is, his fears, what makes him happy, why would he cry, everything...I have read like all his blog posts -sounds creepy I know- and think that this person's mind is fascinating....I don't know, makes me feel frustrated to think about how impossible is this to happen, everytime he replies to me, I get excited such like a stupid little girl, I even got blushed yesterday...when he talked to me....of course, our "conversations" -If i dare to call them like that- consist only by "thanks" and "you're welcome"....u_u yesterday I got really sad...but I guess, this is just a whim...(I'm not talking about Kuromitu of course, I would never be able to talk to her)

Today I went to look for something to wear on my portfolio event, and yeah.....it sucks....So deep inside of me wants to dress girly, wear a cute dress, high heels and a fancy hair...but there's a voice inside my head that say i will look stupid....really stupid...I tried on a skirt and hated it...my legs are not made to wear skirts...

hahahahaha....well, the first is celebrating how much I suck finding clothes....totally hate my legs...I look really stupid right?....I liked the skirt btw, but yeah...didn't buy it...

Going to sleep....


11 de septiembre de 2012

my head is playing dirty tonight

GOSH! I finished everything for tomorrow (T^T) but still need to work on my website...but I really don't want to do it right now...

I can hardly believe there's only 2 weeks left to finish, I'm always saying i'm excited and happy but tbh i'm fucking scared...it's like when I was on school and was freaked out to finish it, I didn't know what university i was gonna take, what career I would choose. But now it's worst...this is the real life, it's not a grade what's on game...Just to think about looking for a job drives me crazy...I'm not good talking to people, interviews and stuff are totally not my thing, besides, there's my stupid complex about my work, my fear of not being taken serious because of my style...not being able to respond as I should in graphic design...I really hate being so insecure, I really try my best, but sometimes I feel i'm just running in circles, pretending it will take me somewhere, and there's the me who is always saying "yeah! I want to be big, and work on anything to survive and success", and there's the only me who's wishing every night that the world will end in 3 months. Call me whatever you want, but sometimes I feel that when university ends, everything for me will...like I will shoot myself after that...haha, yeah, pathetic...

ANYWAY!
I'm going to do something else better...

...so predictable

hahahaha see!!!!!→ 

........................................................................................................................................................OTL

Give me a -fucking- break!

I see they like to give work to do at this hour...meanwhile they come with something new...


I'm going to sleep at 1:00 am u__u I don't care if they send me something else...too bad...at least it's not 3 am, but I feel so fucked up...I like the versatility of regular pens, they allow shadowing and lightning ...

oh yes, Ciel ↑ I don't care about what my sister says...
she's sick of me and my fandom, she's always complaining why I draw kuroshitsuji if I can draw my own characters...yes, i can, but i don't feel like doing it...it's like when I show her Himetsuka's work, her comments are always like "yes, i like them, but I would prefer to see original work" u__u she doesn't like anything! she doesn't know about this feeling of loving some characters, loving a manga or anime...the happiness inside a fanart...she hardly draws fanart...of course she makes me feel stupid, but the feeling this fucking manga gives me is enough to keep me doing this, I don't want to lose it in the same way i lose it with Kingdom hearts and Death note because of her words...I don't know, feel like -silly-ranting tonight...

10 de septiembre de 2012

Hurry UP! I want to play...

"...With you"

this is pretty much the despair I feel right now...Sebastian being exploited by me again...

Kuroshitsuji crack by Pichiko

Seems like I will never finish my portfolio.....need to change more things...>_<
Anyway, besides that, I have been working on my portfolio event, making last minute banners and shirts designs....I hate when that happens...and it's not my fault this time OTL

btw, I have been searching for more kuroshitsuji fanartists hahaha...and I just love how creepy is Pichiko's art.


it's like cute, 10000000% shota and weird hahaha that's why I love it. So out of character but so great!

I really want to know what's on her mind when she draws this stuff

her stuff makes me smile and LOL I really enjoy this!
ush! I really want to draw something rn!!!! but will work on the last project for my packaging class the whole night...OTL it's funny reading everyone talking about going back to school and how awful is it, and I'm almost done with classes, like I just have 2 weeks to finish........*starts to creeps out for the never ending shits she has to work on*

OH yeah! I really want this!!

Sexy notebook is sexy and more with Sebastian on it (*_^_*)!!!!

#9

I hate to be here every time I feel upset, sadly this is the only place I can vent my heart out. Today some friends and I got upset to eac...