#9

I hate to be here every time I feel upset, sadly this is the only place I can vent my heart out.
Today some friends and I got upset to each other for the stupidest reason ever. I have never try to make them angry but they said some hurtful comments and well, the things didn't go well. I don't want to tell details because I don't want to get upset again.
I know that I'm overreacting, maybe it's because I'm on my period but I don't know if I'm in my right to feel this way. But this just makes me think about how easy is to me to unattache from people. I tried so hard to be in someone's life for many years that I've learnt that the worst thing you can do is beg for people's love.
If this stupid fight made me feel upset is because I care, right? But if this makes us get away from each other I don't feel any kind of loss. Sometimes I wonder if my friends are the friends I really need... As awful as I feel writing this, I have never felt that I can't live without them. We laugh, we spend a good time together but sometimes they do things I dislike and I never say anything bc this differences are what make friendships stronger, maybe not??

But at the end of the day I've never felt understood by them. I think this is my fault since I tend to have a double life, they think of me the same way the people in the office do, they only know this side of me I pretend to be...
I don't know if we will stay friends forever or we will just stop talking as the time goes, but for today, I don't want to stress about this, this is supposed to be a good time since we are close to Christmas and it will suck to be in bad terms with them but I won't chase them, I won't go behind anyone again anymore